Today (November 27th) would be my Dad’s birthday. I think he would be 77 years old. He isn’t here any more however. He died several years ago. We never got along well, he was not my best supporter in life or anything else. His theme in life seemed to be “Don’t bother” and those were, in fact, his last words in this life.
There are not a lot of second chances in life. In his case, there are none at all. I don’t know if he ever regretted how things were/ are in the family with him. I wonder sometimes if people do see how their families live on after they have died. I think of him watching the fallout from his actions in life. I like to think of someone telling him that he could have been a better Father, a better person. (Not that he was awful or that I blame him for everything I’m not happy about myself and my life, that would be silly). But, I do like to think that he would have some regrets. I won’t ever know of course. Or, not while I’m still alive anyway, after that… maybe I will see him again when we are both deceased. That isn’t something I can predict.
Write about meeting someone who disappointed or hurt you after you are both deceased. How does the meeting go, how does it start? When it is all over do you feel better or worse?
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My father was a recovering alcoholic when he died. He was just starting to get his life together when he passed. Everyone has regrets. They have to learn how to open up, and want to. Years ago people didn’t say “I am sorry,” or “I made a mistake.” Your father never gave himself the chance to find that peace, which could have been passed on to you.
My dad’s birthday is the same day. He turned 70 this year.
Like you, my dad has a difficult relationship with his kids. Not because he is an awful person but because he doesn’t know how to be open and genuine with us. Fundamentally, he is a very lonely and lost person.