The Title of Your Divorce

You’ve been giving the project of writing a book about getting divorced. It’s to be a sarcastic and humourous take on divorce and the publisher wants some dark humour about getting rid of the body, etc.

Before you get more than an outline together she wants you to create the title for the book. Something she can start pitching and begin building publicity for. What title do you come up with?

The Unfinished, Abandoned Art.

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.” – Leonardo da Vinci

While exploring an abandoned farm house you find a room full of paintings. A couple appear to be finished, most are in stages of being done. But, the house is long abandoned. So long abandoned that the roof has partially caved in, the stairs were very risky and there are a lot of animals living in the house but no people.

Feeling kind of sentimental and curious about the paintings and the artist who is quite possibly long dead, you take all the paintings back down the rickety stairs and pack them into your car. They kind of smell. So does the house. Mildew has set in.

Though you try to find out about the house and who might have done the paintings you have no luck. The house was abandoned by an old couple who moved to the city, back in the 1960’s. It’s been untouched since then. Neither of the couple were artists, as far as anyone still around knows.

Some of the paintings really appeal to you just as they are. The pictures are well drawn, colourful (even though faded and damaged in places) and they all have a feeling of mystery, sensuality and humour. An art gallery offers to restore the paintings for you, or take them off your hands all together and see if they sell. What do you choose to do? If you keep them would you try to finish the unfinished paintings?

Embarrassing Names

What would be a really embarrassing name? If you were thinking of a name for someone in a story you were writing what would be the worst name you could give them? Don’t be afraid to be truly evil. Pick one for pure embarrassment and another for evil, adult humour, embarrassment. Can you think of a name that isn’t just about potty humour, that’s trickier, as we tend to fall back on something childish/ simple when asked to think of something embarrassing.

Dr. Unheimlichs Disease Registry

You’re a disease! Joke site.

If you can’t achieve immortality by not dying, you can at least achieve it by dying of something original.

Unheimlich Laboratories offer a full diagnosis and registration service, by which your current (or imminent) ailment can be archived in your name, in perpetuity.

To commence the scan, simply enter your name, press the affected or suspected body part against your monitor in the box to the right, and click “diagnose”. (If in doubt, or if suffering no symptoms, use your tongue.)