Limerence: Love Sickness

I found a new word and an interesting idea (medical condition in reality) to write about in Letter Lover.

The condition of which I’m speaking is called limerence, which is “defined as an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.”

It’s basically the clinical way of saying it can take years for a limerent person to overcome a broken heart. It sounds strange, I realize, but it is very real and all consuming. A man named Albert Wakin has done extensive research on the condition.

How would you write about someone pining for a loved one? Does it make a difference if the love is lost through death or just not returned? What would you feel about a person who is limerent? Are they a romantic, too sensitive or just plain love sick?

#Things Men Shouldn’t Text Each Other

Twitter / Search – #ThingsMenShouldntTextEachOther.

My brother would get furious at our younger sister for calling him “gay”, “queer”, “fag”. She would make this a game when he had friends over. My poor brother would try not to rise to her baiting him. But, like anyone who is tormented relentlessly, he did come to his limit. He would jump up, she would run, he would chase her (the odd thing was that she still would not shut her mouth and kept taunting him even while she was running away).

Anyway, my weird family history aside, being gay was not okay. Men were sensitive to the issue, still are. For all I read about accepting homosexuality there is still a lot of discomfort with homosexuality. I can understand. I don’t fully accept it myself.

I’m not about to bash anyone and I don’t have a phobia about it (homophobia is a childish argument). But, it does not feel like something natural and right to me. I don’t make an issue of it. It’s a point where I just agree to disagree.

Today, reading the above hashtag on Twitter I got to see that things are not much changed from when I was in high school and my sister would torment my brother with those words. Men still feel uncomfortable, sensitive to the questioning of their manhood. That’s a shame. I personally believe men are about the same as they always have been.

The issue of homosexuality really is quietly intruding into my own family these days. I have a nephew in high school. He has had to face the questions about his manhood. Is his voice pitched a little too high? Is it ok if he likes to dress up in a suit and add some blonde to his hair? Are his feet not big enough? (We don’t talk about any other measurements…).

His peers decided he is gay at some point and have not let it go. It’s not that he is one of those kids being bullied (at least I don’t think so) but in his group of friends they joke about his sexuality. Meanwhile, this is a kid who is not having sex (we have talked about this and I choose to believe him). To that group of kids being gay is more about fashion choices, body language and physical characteristics than sexual partners. It’s more about the image which gay men have been given by the media than about the reality of liking men/ your own gender sexually.

Take some time to read the posts on Twitter, made by men. Almost everything added to this hashtag is about the issue of homosexuality and being a man, being man enough. Write about men, our brothers, Fathers, nephews, sons, etc. What is the role of men in our culture? What would you like men to feel about themselves, as men?

Note: If anyone uses this post to make a stand about homosexuality I will delete the comment. This is about men and manhood (choice of sex partner is not relevant to the issue of being manly/ man enough).

People with No Common Past

From “The Secret History of Moscow” by Ekaterina Sedia:

“It felt like a school trip, and Galina had to restrain herself from trying to hold hands with Timur-Bey; despite his diminutive stature, he appeared quite formidable. Besides, Galina thought, he had never been herded with a group of other children to a museum or an exhibition of the country’s agricultural prowess. It was frustrating, thinking of that man and realizing that they had never shared an experience; was it possible to be so remote in time and circumstance that there was simply no overlap?”

Galina was a modern woman who fell into an underground world (somewhere below Moscow) where people had fallen out of history and continued to live in this sub-world. I enjoyed the book and the look at another culture.

What about the idea of two people who share no common past? Is it possible for people to be so far apart in time that they have nothing in common? Sure there would be simple things like fire, ice, winter… basics that have been around for every generation and before. But, in the timeline of people, you don’t have to go too far back to find people who would not understand the current culture and traditions of people now.

Think of some things we take for granted in our modern culture that would seem bizarre to someone a hundred (or hundreds) of years ago.

Blogging Case Study

Blogging Case Study.

Welcome to BloggingCaseStudy.com. This website, created by Glen Allsopp, has been developed as a result of a team effort with Andrea Wren, and the column she is writing for the Guardian newspaper. Starting September 3rd 2011, I (Glen) will personally be taking a freelance writer (Andrea) through the steps of how to build a popular blog that ethically makes money.

Blogging hasn’t become about making money for me. But, at times when the cupboard is a little bare I do think more about it.

Mobilize Your Creativity At ArtCrawl

In addition to a 2-Day artist retreat at NYU ITP (October 1 & 2), we’re inviting artists (of all backgrounds and genres) to join us for some plein-air drawing, painting, photography, film and whatever else strikes your fancy at three super-inspiring locations in NYC.

Not a mobile digital artist? Well, that’s okay too.  “Analog” artists are welcome to join us too!

via Mobilize Your Creativity At This Year’s ArtCrawl.

This is in New York, US. But you could organize your own Art Crawl. Pick a day and visit art galleries, local museums and any other places where you can find art, culture and crafts in your area. Create your own personal Art Crawl right where you are. End the Art Crawl at a great coffee shop over a latte.

Create your Cheerful Celebration List

Create your Cheerful Celebration list to give you small and big things to celebrate the little things in life or cheer yourself up when you’re a little down.  This idea comes from When I Grow Up.

  • Go out for a latte and try something new.
  • Spend an hour or more at the secondhand bookstore, shelfsurfing.
  • Sit outside with a good book.
  • Make a dinner I really want rather than thaw out something frozen.
  • Take the bus downtown and have lunch.
  • Take the bus out of town and stay in a hotel overnight.
  • Pamper myself with new shampoo/ conditioner and a hot shower.
  • Wear my favourite really red sweater. Go boldly forth.
  • Give some guy a flirty smile, regardless of how I look at the time.