Letters Never to Be Posted

At the site Unposted Letters the idea is to write a letter the way you really want to write it but don’t send it to the addressee.

The Unposted Letters Project is a safe place to speak without fear, criticism or consequence. No one will interrupt or judge. It is a place where we can expose all of our feelings and thoughts about anyone, or about ourselves. Whether it’s been positive or negative, we can tell someone what they have meant to our life. This is an opportunity to create your own unique page to silently say anything to anyone, in a book that will shout it out loud.

What have you left unsaid, unwritten? Think of someone you would like to have a chance to say something at a time when you knew they would actually listen. In life we can not really talk and listen at the same time. All too often everyone seems to be talking and no one is listening. Everyone wants to be heard but they don’t stop talking long enough to hear someone else.

I’d like to write a letter to my Grandparents (one each cause I have different things to say to each of them and different ways of saying the same thing as well). I’d like to write to Great Aunts who are gone, were already old women when I knew them. I’d like to tell them all kinds of good things because people seem (to me) to focus far too much on negative things that might never happen.

I’d like to write a letter to my nephew and nieces, though they are all still here and I will even be seeing them later today. There are so many things I can tell them. Things they are not ready to hear, not mature enough, not experienced enough and the ironic thing is that when they are ready to hear them they will already know them, will have lived my old experiences themselves. Life is funny like that. It just keeps on going until it’s over.

Don’t Be Afraid of Bold

I’m kind of a shy, quiet person. When I was a teenager and had my first real job I was so quiet the other women thought I was a Mennonite. It wasn’t a comment on my fashion choices, I was just quiet. I’ve always second guessed anything I do that puts me into a spotlight or pushes me to be bold, brazen or noticed even. Trust me, I don’t take bold lightly.

But using the bold function of HTML can be a good thing. It highlights the main point you want to get across in your article or post. It brings attention to what you are saying. It can also break up a long post into sections so readers/ skimmers can absorb the essence of your communication without reading every word of the text.

Some bloggers use subheaders as bold statements, set off outside of their general text.

I don’t do that. It’s just a bit too bold for me I guess. I will bold a sentence in the text, almost a subheader but still blending into the regular paragraph. It works for me, bold without being too bold. Once you start using bold you will find your own style. Remember to go boldly forth and yet use all things in moderation. Bold luck to you.

Plain as Day Directions?

Think of a place you have been to today, maybe out for coffee, out to work, as long as you had to get out of your homespace. Think about the route you took to get there. Things you needed along the way, like a bus pass, your purse. Anything you stopped for such as coffee or cash at the bank machine.

Could you describe your route and all your stops along the way to your destination. Write out directions and instructions for someone else (assume they do not live in your area and will not know the street names or landmarks). When you read back your directions do they make sense? Could you follow them clearly yourself? Test them out on someone if you can. See how clear they are to another person.

Writing directions can be tricky. Women look at landmarks while men, typically, want street names and plain directions with right, left, north, west, etc. Beyond that, everyone notices different things along the route. Something that seems plain as day to you may go unnoticed by someone else.

Can’t Sleep?

My nephew, Zack, is having trouble getting to sleep. I think part of the problem is himself. Before he even gets into bed he has already told himself he will not be able to get to sleep. With all the power our brains have over our body it makes sense to me that if the brain says it will not sleep the body is not likely to relax and let sleep happen. My sister says it is all the video games he plays, right up until bedtime and I’m sure that isn’t helping but it is not the only thing.

For Zack I have been looking for ideas that help people get to sleep.

From All Women’s Talk I thought the best tips were to clear your mind, have a clean environment and a cold bedroom. I always sleep better if it is at least cool versus warm. So much nicer to snuggle under a blanket than feel smothered by the air itself. WikiHow had the most unique ideas for falling asleep.

Other tips:

  • A warm bath or shower can help. Also, the evening is a better time to use the hot water than the more expensive daytime hours.
  • Practice good hygiene. Give your teeth a brush and swish some mouthwash. Clip your finger and toe nails. Brush your hair a hundred strokes.
  • A hot drink, like the standard warm milk.
  • Close your eyes.
  • Gather everything you will need for the next morning. Set your clothes out and all the accessories you will wear. If you need to take anything with you or have a plan for getting somewhere do it all before bed so it can be off your mind.
  • Have regular exercise. Giving your body a work out causes the need for sleep later.
  • Don’t exercise right at your bedtime.
  • Don’t eat a meal or snack right at bedtime. Better yet, don’t eat 3 hours before going to bed.
  • But, don’t go to bed hungry either. Have a very light snack rather than lying there feeling hungry.
  • Have a regular schedule for your bedtime. Condition yourself to know when your body will expect to be getting to bed and sleeping.
  • Silence, as quiet as you can manage. Try earplugs if there are still outside noises you can’t control.
  • Darkness, cover the windows if necessary. Close the door for more darkness, you can plug in a fan if you want air flow.
  • Change your mattress. Get a new one if it is old and giving you backaches. Try several types of mattress to find one which really suits you.
  • Try a new pillow. As with a new mattress you may need a firmer, softer or less fluffed pillow. Find which type suits you. There are even full body pillows which you can have at your back.
  • Get some sunlight during the day. Your body clock needs to be kept on track.
  • Sleep in another room if sharing your bed or someone snoring is keeping you awake. Of course, this is only a temporary solution. In the morning you need to talk about a better solution.
  • Sound therapy. Use ocean sounds, gentle rain and other simple recorded sounds to help you relax and fall asleep.
  • Relax your jaw, then go through all the other parts of your body, relaxing each one.
  • Count sheep or goats or something else that will be dull and monotonous. Don’t count anything that will make you want to get out of bed.
  • Massage. You can rub your own temples, up and down your arms and use a back scratcher to give yourself a backrub.
  • Plan your next vacation.
  • Read awhile to take your mind off your busy, frustrating or upsetting day. Don’t pick something that will be too stimulating.
  • Try a couple of different sleeping positions, even try sleeping with your head at the other end of the bed. But, don’t get into doing bed Olympics, just try a couple of positions and then settle on one.
  • Give meditation and/ or self hypnosis a try.
  • Talk to an imaginary friend, no heated arguments.
  • Plan your dream for the evening. Begin with the location, what you will be wearing, what kind of weather it will be…
  • Wear nightclothes/ pajamas which don’t bunch up and become uncomfortable or have tight elastics and such. You need to be comfortable.
  • Practice deep breathing. Lie on your back and take slow, deep breaths. You don’t want to feel like you are suffocating yourself, the idea is to slow your breathing until you are already breathing as if you are asleep.
  • Try aromatherapy.
  • Don’t use your bed for anything but sleeping. (Or sex, which tends to lead to sleeping too). If you are used to doing work, watching TV and etc. in your bed then it isn’t a place just to relax and sleep. Your mind isn’t conditioned to think of your bed as just the place you sleep.
  • Daydream in bed. Put yourself into a situation where feel relaxed and are with people you like having around you.
  • Be your own kid and tell yourself a bedtime story, not out loud, just think it to yourself. Don’t make the story too exciting and keep yourself awake.
  • Tell yourself you are tired. Yawn for extra effect.
  • Imagine a pendulum, steadily swinging back and forth.
  • If you’ve been lying there 15 minutes or longer and have not begun to relax get up and do something boring which you have been putting off: match your socks, clean out the medicine cabinet, or watch the shopping channel if you’re feeling anti-productive.

What is your best sleeping tip? Write something new and creative and send it to someone who could use help getting to sleep.

The Meaning of Grrl

Reposted from my own personal blog: That Grrl. (Just because Grrl is a strange four letter word).

The Meaning of Grrl – Originally posted November 17, 2005.

There are probably people out there who see ‘grrl’ and think I’m just a really bad speller. I’m a fairly good speller actually. Grrl is not a typo (a typographical error, for those who stopped to wonder). Grrl is a fun way to say girl when you mean woman but don’t want to go into all of that. You see, woman is such a complicated word. Being a woman is hard enough without actually calling yourself a woman all the time. It’s simpler to just not think about it all at once.

So someone invented Grrl. It may have been Bonnie, I’m not 100% sure if she started the word itself or was just the first one to pick it up as a web domain. I’ve met Bonnie, online. She does justice to Grrl. She’s fun and yet not an air head. She’s doing things, accomplishing things and getting somewhere. She’s a Grrl and a woman. But, grrl just takes off some of the pressure of being a woman.

You see, women are supposed to be Super. That’s super with a capital ‘S’ you notice. Not just any super. Super Woman! It is not easy being Super. You don’t get many days off, none really. You don’t get to hide in bed and cover your head and pretend the world went away. You don’t get the chance to do-over, use the backspace key or shift the workload. Super woman has to do it all, every day. Who can be that?

Grrls are imperfect and glad of it. We still have our personal power, our goals and our great moments, we just get to take the odd day off, goof up sometimes and have a lot more fun. Grrls are not girls however, don’t be confused. Girls are children. Grrls are women, just not crushed into the weight of the Iron Maiden of woman.